I’m sat here feeling like the worse mum-to-be in the entire world. I have waited so many years for the little miracle now growing inside my belly. Up until now I have also had the pleasure of a rather easy pregnancy – no morning sickness just tiredness.
So why is it that with 3 months to go I am simply not as enthusiastic as my hubby, family and friends? At first I started questioning and blaming myself because of my depression but from speaking to lots of other mums-to-be who don’t suffer depression it would appear this is more common than talked about. I can now see some of you now screaming yes, that’s me that’s how I feel. Believe it or not 27% of pregnant mamma’s feel this way (The Bump).
For me I think it all started at week 16, I was partially excited to see bubs on the screen again in the coming weeks but something in the back of my mind was just saying urgh why can’t it be over already.
Work colleagues and family members asking how far along you are questioning whether it’s twins or not. Yes, thank-you I get it I’ve put weight on but for heavens sake I’m growing a little human inside leave me alone!
It’s been 10 weeks since I started to feel this way and it hasn’t eased up. People still question me even though my dearest husband reminds me on a daily basis that I only look pregnant from the front and that I look great regardless. I still feel like it’s unreal. Some days I even question whether I am actually pregnant until I get kicked in the bladder or see a tiny lump under my skin.
I really want to feel that ‘joy’ that ‘glow’ you read about in magazines and baby books but personally I now think this is all utter BS. They clearly only write that rubbish to lure people into a false sense of hope that pregnancy is all floaty and a bed of shimmering gold roses. Ha! what is so glamorous about daily backache, peeing every 20 mins, being unable to get comfy in bed despite the mountains of pillows and the gas. Oh Lordy, the symptoms that no one speaks of 🙈 unbearable trapped wind, constipation and you’ve guessed it liquid brown and burping. Honestly, I feel more cave man than beautiful pregnant lady.
If you feel like me please share your stories in the comments below I would love to hear from you.