Congratulations you’re expecting a little miracle, you are either very very excited or super nervous (or perhaps somewhere in the middle).
Most books you will read will tell you how wonderful pregnancy is and how much you will bloom with ‘radiance’ whilst growing a tiny human instead your uterus. The books hint at some unpleasantries like ‘morning sickness’ but bad news doesn’t sell books. I’m not saying pregnancy is dire but there are a lot of gripes.
Below are some common issues you might have based many pregnant women experiences. I have tried to add some humour to lightened the subject so hopefully this will bring a smile to your face whilst you read.
It might feel like no matter what you eat or drink you’re suffering from ingestion.
Solution: The good news is Gaviscon and Rennie are safe to take during pregnancy as I’ve already mentioned. Again similar advice to trapped wind. Try to eat little but often. The further along in pregnancy the less food you find yourself able to eat at any one sitting.
Burping like a middle aged man
Yep, it’s very common to experience ‘wind’ and a lot of it during pregnancy. Whether your Donald Trumping in bed with your hubby or burping like a bloke after eating a dirty donor kebab and chips. You will inevitability succumb to wind at some point during your pregnancy. Trapped wind and bloating is caused by the hormone Progesterone. This hormone helps to regulate other hormones keeping baby safe. The side effects are it also slows down your digestive system to allow for better extraction of nutrients to your unborn child.
Solution: try to avoid / limit windy foods like beans. Eat slowly and have little bit often meals rather than big ones. Also Gaviscon and Rennie are safe to take in pregnancy.
Constipation Vs Diarrhoea
Not a great movie title but once again a fabulous issue pregnant ladies suffer. One minute you’re desperate for any relief to go to the toilet even it’s it’s just some rabbit pellets in the toilet bowl but then in the next heartbeat it’s like lava pouring out uncontrollably. It’s so very glamorous that every stomach twitch you’re left thinking is that the baby / wind or do I need to run-wobble to the toilet.
Unfortunately there isn’t a great deal of products available to take. You must avoid senna products at all costs during pregnancy which rules out a lot of constipation tablets. Try keeping a well balanced diet with high fibre and avoid foods that give you an upset stomach.
Grapes and not the edible type
If your one of the unfortunate women to suffer from ‘grapes’ ahem hemorrhoids. You can appreciate just how chuffing uncomfortable these can be. Best thing is to speak with your midwife as they can hopefully prescribe you some cream. Probably best to wear soft panties and perhaps made of cotton to help minimise discomfort.
Try not to strain too much when you are on the loo especially if you are constipated. This is how the majority of cases are caused. Straining also puts pressure on the heart and it has been known for people (mostly men) to die whilst straining for a poo. (what an awful image)
The revenge of the eye bags
There is no escape from those dark bags under your eyes (ok there’s makeup!). Early pregnancy you literally sleep for England and wake from 22 hours feeling like the world owes you a favour for lack of sleep. Then pow late second trimester / third trimester proper tiredness arrives. You tend to be shattered during the day for the near constant trips to the toilet that you’ve even contemplated making camp in the bathroom. Yes, I’ve wondered whether turning the bath into a bed would be a good thing or even investing in adult nappies ha-ha. Oh you laugh at the latter but I did find nappies for pregnant women on eBay of all places 🙈
Solution: well apart from using a bit of concealer the best cure is to try and sleep as much as you possibly can. Whether you can get 20 mins at your desk at work or a catnap as soon as you get home.
Remember though towards later pregnancy despite tiredness been common it can also be a sigh of low iron levels. Your midwife will schedule to undertake blood tests to determine your levels around week 28.
Pain pain go away
You might be a lucky woman and not have any pain until the day you deliver. However, for the majority of us mere mortals every day our pregnancy progresses another issue arises. Back ache, leg ache, shoulder ache. Itchy feet, swollen ankles, sore eyes.
Shoulder pain is often associated with trapped wind so try Gaviscon or Rennie so see if that helps. Sometimes (but not always) in late pregnancy shoulder ache can be a sign of early labour.
If you have horrendous back pain you can always self-refer to see a physiotherapist on the NHS. Just pop into your doctors and ask to complete a self-referral form. If it’s really really bad and paracetamol does absolutely nothing depending on which trimester you are in you can sometimes be prescribed Codeine. This is all based on speaking with your GP first.
Leg twitching and cramps
You’ve finally got comfortable in bed after the millionth trip to the toilet. Baby has stopped kicking enough to let you close your eye then pow your leg starts twitching. This is involuntary and can be somewhat painful. (Oh joy another painful thing to endure).
Sometimes this is caused by the way baby is simply laid and other times mineral / vitamin deficiencies. Remember, you’re little miracle is taking practically every nutrient you’ve consumed so you’re left with the bare minimal.
Solution: continue to eat a well balanced diet. Try drinking tonic water before bed this sometimes helps. Cramps can also be helped by adding a little more salt into your diet (don’t pour the entire contents onto some chips that’s not healthy). Avoid sitting with crossed legs during the day. You could also try having a pillow between your knees at night to see if that helps.
Oops I wet myself again
Cannot really see Britney singing this mind but yet another common dilemma. Whether you’ve just literally been for a wee and stood up you might dribble a little or sneeze and wish to god you were wearing a panty liner or some big ass tenner lady knickers. Many people will tell you to do your kegel exercises etc – yeah cheers I already know that but when you have a bowling ball resting on your bladder and you sneeze there is bugger all that kegel exercise is going to achieve at that very moment.
Solution: always wear a panty liner (tenner lady). You can continue your kegel exercises and then again more so after birth. From speaking to some mothers the majority of us get our bladder function back but a tiny amount of us still have issues. Not to panic though that’s why tenner ladies were invented. Don’t let it ruin your life.
Is that a gorilla?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought what the? Yep pregnancy can make hair grow faster. Sounds fabulous for your head but no where else. You might start to see the odd black hair on your chin, a dark line of hair growing on your tummy from your pubic region and then your legs which you only shaved this morning seem to resemble your man’s stubbly beard than smooth skin. It’s like going through puberty all over again.
Solution: if only there was a solution to slow or stop hair growth. Unfortunately, shaving, waxing, epilators are the only method of choice unless you want to go au-naturel of course. There is very little evidence to state whether laser or similar is safe in pregnancy.
Insane sex drive
You might suddenly develop a crazy high sex drive during the first trimester. Sounds great to some but it can be an absolute arse! Your poor partner might back off a tad because they can’t keep up with your ‘come on we’ve only done it 6 times today let’s go again’ attitude.
Then there’s the opposite. You might want sex but it’s becoming uncomfortable. You have your partner enter you only for your lovely unborn child to kick you in the groin (fanny daggers). Honestly until this happens you will have no idea what I’m talking about but let’s just say ouch!
Solution: get it on when you want but if your feeling really frisky and your partners a little out off you may have to do a bit of self love. As pregnancy advances you may have to experiment a little with your sex positions as the good old fashioned missionary position may be a tad too uncomfortable. I’m no sexpert but most pregnancy women swear by the doggy position with a pillow underneath bump for support or alternatively spoons.
Superhuman sense of smell.
Eeeww B.O. No not you personally but your sense of smell goes through the roof to the point were you’re convinced it’s you when in fact it’s the bloke at the other end of the train carriage.
You develop an almost inhuman sense of smell during pregnancy. In the early days this can contribute to your morning sickness. I actually felt sick at the smell of chocolate (my once favourite food). You will also smell things your partner can’t – like the dog which was bathed only this morning still stinks or your convinced someone is stood next to you smoking when their actually over 300 yards away at the other end of the carpark.
Solution: sorry there isn’t one unless you want to walk around with a respirator. Good news it does wear off after pregnancy. For some it’s days / weeks unfortunately for most it can be a couple of months. Some women even find they still love smelling certain things they didn’t before pregnancy like freshly cut grass or painted sheds.
Sick as a dog
Literally sickness or nausea is so very common in early pregnancy.
Then there’s the fact your immune system is next to non-existent. You may feel like you’ve caught every cough and cold going round and your right.
Skin like a teenager
So you had wonderful blemish feee skin and now you’re pregnant. Your skin may become itchy, sore, flaky, covered in blemishes etc.
Solution: invest in a good skin creme for your face. E45 does wonders too for itchy and flaky skin. Alternatively, why not use your baby’s products like Johnsons baby oil after you’ve had a bath followed by Johnsons baby lotion. It’s not just for baby’s it’s great for sensitive skin – I should know I’ve been using it for years.
Headaches and then some
You are more likely to suffer from headaches or migraines
Solution: You can take paracetamol during pregnancy but if you’re looking for a non-medicinal item try one of the following;
- 4head stick
- Cool patches
- Upping you’re intake of water
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this article. If you have an issue that isn’t listed please share your pregnancy gripes below in the comments.