WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY 10 SEPTEMBER 2018

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World Suicide Prevention Day is observed on September 10 each year to promote worldwide action to prevent suicides. Various events and activities are held during this occasion to raise awareness that suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death.

World Suicide Prevention Day is observed on September 10 each year to promote worldwide action to prevent suicides. Various events and activities are held during this occasion to raise awareness that suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death.

What do people do?

World Suicide Prevention Day gives organizations, government agencies and individuals a chance to promote awareness about suicide, mental illnesses associated with suicide, as well as suicide prevention. Organizations such as the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) and World Health Organization (WHO) play a key role in promoting this event.

Events and activities for World Suicide Prevention Day include:

  • The launch of new government initiatives to prevent suicide.
  • Conferences, open days, educational seminars or public lectures.
  • Media programs promoting suicide awareness and prevention.
  • Memorial services or candlelight ceremonies to remember those who died from suicide.
  • Organizing cultural or spiritual events, fairs or exhibitions.
  • Launches of publications about suicide awareness and prevention.
  • Training courses about suicide and depression awareness.

Many of these initiatives are celebrated in various countries worldwide. Some of these events and activities are held at a local level, while others are nation-wide. Many communities around the world reaffirm their commitment to suicide prevention on World Suicide Prevention Day.

Background

Nearly 3000 people on average commit suicide daily, according to WHO. For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives. About one million people die by suicide each year. Suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death which is influenced by psycho-social, cultural and environmental risk factors that can be prevented through worldwide responses that address these main risk factors. There is strong evidence indicating that adequate prevention can reduce suicide rates.

World Suicide Prevention Day, which first started in 2003, is annually held on September 10 each year as an IASP initiative. WHO co-sponsors this event. World Suicide Prevention Day aims to:

  • Raise awareness that suicide is preventable.
  • Improve education about suicide.
  • Spread information about suicide awareness.
  • Decrease stigmatization regarding suicide.

WHO and IASP work with governments and other partners to ensure that suicide is no longer stigmatized, criminalized or penalized. WHO’s role is to build political action and leadership to develop national responses to prevent suicide, strengthen national planning capacity to establish the core building blocks of such a national response, and build the national capacities to implement these responses.

How can you get involved?

This year is the first WSPD with the theme “Working Together to Prevent Suicide.”  This theme will be retained for WSPD in 2019 and 2020. We have chosen this theme as it highlights the most essential ingredient for effective global suicide prevention- collaboration. We all have a role to play and together we can collectively address the challenges presented by suicidal behaviour in society today.  On September 10th, join with us and many others across the world who are playing their part in the prevention of suicide. Be sure to involve or invite other local organisations and collaborators to organise an event to mark WSPD 2018.

Go to https://iasp.info/wspd2018/ to register and download more information.

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Update from Katherine

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. I have to admit I have missed writing and interacting with you all.

It has been a very difficult few months for me since the birth of my miracle son last year. In that short space of time I have suffered ill-health, the deaths of both grandmothers and a battled with my depression. It would also appear that I have post-natal depression too.

I forgot to mention I went back to work full time when my son was only 3 months old. Was this too soon? Hell yes, but financially we couldn’t cope if I stayed off longer and took statutory maternity pay.

Having all these events happen in such a short space of time has definitely had an impact on me. I still having come to terms with my grandmas passing in February. I was completely and utterly knocked for 6 and it has left a hole that cannot be filled. Then my second grandma passed in May. I have all these wonderful memories to keep them alive forever but it’s not the same.

My work life balance doesn’t exist. I was great at keeping everything separate but they seem to have mingled into one. When I’m at work all I can think about is the little one and when I’m with him it’s the opposite and I’m thinking about work.

Most days I wake only to wish I could climb back into bed and sleep a little while longer. I must admit I have slept a lot more than I normally do but I’m always tired. Typical side effect of depression – people just think you’re lazy but there’s just so much to it.

I’ve also decided to take this blog into a new direction. I will still focus on elements of mental health awareness but it won’t be the primary element. I am going to reclassify as a lifestyle blogger which means I can cover a lot of the items that I’m passionate about. This includes products reviews, family day out ideas and ill-health (physical and mental).

I look forward to hearing from you all soon.

Katherine xo

World Mental Health Awareness Day 2017 – male depression

Well it wouldn’t be a mental health awareness blog without some more mental health awareness would it 😊

Today is mental awareness awareness day or 10th October 2017 to the rest of you. This day is used to help raise awareness of a multitude of areas connected to mental health. It isn’t a day to start pointing the finger at people and calling them names!!

At some point you or someone you know will suffer from a mental health illness. Whether it is stress, depression, anxiety or something much more. We all need to to work together to tackle the stigma. Mental health illness does not make you weak or inferior. It doesn’t just affect women a lot of men suffer in silence afraid of what others may think. Guys if real men wear pink then even realer men reveal their emotions! Go on let out a cry if you need too and talk to someone about it!

I am using today to raise awareness of men’s suffering. Why should they suffer? What makes them different from women? Well to be honest I can’t personally speak for every man out there and clearly I’m not one but I suspect it comes down to gender stereotyping. Men are expected to be all macho and never reveal their emotions – well perhaps dodgy humour is permitted in some circumstances. However, generally the ‘man of the house’ is to be the bread winner, the one who chairs his household like a godfather. Everyone comes to him with their problems and he has all the answers. Well the truth is men you’re not so dissimilar to us women. We’re ‘expected’ to know the answers (think childcare etc), were suppose to keep the house together (housework).

We shouldn’t conform to any gender stereotyping we should just be who we want to be. Some women are more dominant in their family and the men more care givers. Nothing wrong with this!!!

Men you can cry, laugh and shout out loud. You are allowed to have breakdowns although we’d prefer it that you seek help before that happens. You can feel insecure about your body (by the way the ideal man in most women’s eyes isn’t some 6ft body builder, most of us like a man with the six pack in the fridge). You can feel down in the dumps, stressed etc just talk to someone. Communication is key to getting better. You wouldn’t leave a broken foot unseen so don’t try to stick a plaster over your mind and assume it will heal by itself.

I’m obviously no mental health expert or therapist but I encourage people to just talk to their peers. I can guarantee you are not the only one in your friendship circle to be suffering in silence.

Possible triggers (no particular order):

  • Marriage / relationship breakdown
  • Domestic violence
  • Abuse
  • Bullying / harassment
  • Redundancy
  • Illness
  • Bereavement
  • Self esteem / body issues
  • Change in family (new baby, marriage)
  • Parents divorcing
  • Alcohol or something balance abuse

Nothing above is any different for a man or woman to suffer depression it’s just men don’t talk about it.

Us women are great talkers (ok not all of us), we have a natter with our girlies and generally try to put the world to rights over a cuppa tea. Men you tend to kick a ball around or have a pint or two but not generally talk feelings it’s more shop talk (sex, that woman’s boobs, tv, sport etc). Now correct me if I’m wrong but it’s rare that’s I’ve known men to have a heart to heart with the lads about their marriage breakdown, girlfriend troubles, erectile dysfunction, grief etc. You seem to pop those issues on a shelf to gather dust and let it get worse and worse. Why? I would really like for you to reach out to me and explain why. Is it because you are deeply private individuals or is there more to it. Is it more to do with gender stereotyping that men shouldn’t talk about these things? In today’s society I believe men and women are equal to talk about their feelings. It’s natural to talk (some more than others). If the second in line to be king of England can share his feelings with the nation then surely you can open up to your best mate. Even if you don’t want to talk to your wife / girlfriend or partner at least chat to your bestie that’s what friends are for. True friends won’t judge you and probably relate to you more than you think. It’s like that old age phrase ask the question because you can guarantee someone else is thinking the same. There’s also no such thing as a stupid question just one that’s left unanswered.

So men reach out and have a chat with your nearest and dearest (or GP). You’ll not be locked away and thrown in a padded cell for having voices in your head. You can be helped but only if you choose to seek help.

If you’re a man suffering with depression and would like to reach out and share you’re story why not get in contact with me. I could always do with a regular male voice on the blog.

Katherine xo

6 Top tips for self managing stress or depression

Are you living with stress and want to know some self help top tips.

1. Notice your individual triggers

We all have little triggers that set us off but to help you manage stress you should try to hone in on what sets you off. Is it the useless printer at work or the way a colleague speaks to you. Find out so you can manage it.

2. List your worries

This is probably an easy task for someone who perhaps kept a journal in their youth. This tip is all about jotting down your worries. If you can see them written down you can look at setting some goals to do something about them.

3. Be better organised

It is true that the more organised an individual the less stressed they become. Start with to do lists and list out all the big and little tasks that you need to do. Start with the most interesting and easy win tasks to help build your confidence up. For example if one task is to clean the house why not sort out one room (or even make that task smaller by just sorting a drawer). Once you’ve achieved that task why not see how long you can keep that room / area tidy then move on to another room. Break tasks down into manageable and achievable goals.

4. Get active

This gets said so often that it goes unnoticed at times. Physical health and mental health are linked. If your physically more active this releases endorphins which are the happy hormones. This can help your overall wellbeing.

5. Have a rest

Your not superman (or superwoman) you don’t need to do everything all at once. As mentioned in point 3 break tasks down into management targets. Don’t be afraid to have a nap at lunch time if you need it. You need to have physical strength to tackle mental tasks.

You should also try and mix up you breaks at work. Can you go for a stroll at lunch time. Read a book in the canteen / staff room? Meet a friend for coffee at the local coffee shop? These little changes in location can have a positive impact on your working afternoon.

6. Praise yourself

It’s a well known fact that society is so focused on bad feedback that we rarely stop and say I did a good job today.

Why not gloat about your achievements – write them down. Give your self brownie points (or gold stars). Don’t feel ashamed if your achievement was something as little as walked from a bus stop one stop earlier than normal. It’s your personal achievement not someone else’s. If you start to look more positively of yourself it will show.

Lastly Get talking

Now this step is not easy! Some people are able to talk to anyone including perfect strangers about their issues. If you’re not one of these people why not look at social media. Could you take to blogging?

Katherine xo

What are the facts relating to Depression

I’m not a medical expert by all means but it annoys me when people who say they are stressed are suffering from depression. There is so much more to depression than feeling a bit “stressed”. Stress is also it’s own category of mental health.

So what are the facts with depression other than feeling ‘down’? Well there are many faces to depression and how it came about leaves individual marks.

When you are depressed your mood is pretty low and it is low for a long time. We are not simply talking about a couple of days feeling down in the dumps because our favourite sports team lost or that the special offer we were looking at expired. No, when you are feeling down for such long periods of time it can affect your daily life activities. Sometimes severe (and undiagnosed) depression can lead to much more serious consequences such as thoughts of suicide.

There are multiple types of depression:

  • SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. A depression that often occurs in the winter months (but not always). This type of depression is sometimes linked to an increase in eating comfort foods (high carbohydrates like breads, cakes etc.)
  • Dysthymia – a persistent depression disorder or chronic depression that lasts two or more years
  • Bipolar disorder – this is also known as manic depression. individuals with this suffer from spells of feeling great followed by a sudden low mood.
  • Psychotic depression – you a clinically very depressed and may suffer from hallucinations or delusions (including hearing voices, seeing or believe things that are not real). This is psychosis. The voices in your head may tell you to do things that you shouldn’t like suicide or convince you that someone is out to get you (form of paranoia).
  • Pre-natal depression – starts during pregnancy (also known as ante-natal depression).
  • Post-natal depression – occurs in the weeks and months following the birth of a child. Can affect men and women equally although women are more suspecitical. It should be noted that many women experience the ‘baby blues’ which is a natural low mood felt immediately after the birth of a child lasting a couple of weeks. It is thought this is due to the sudden decrease in hormone levels after the birth of the baby. This in itself is not post-natal depression.

As mentioned there are many faces to depression and the symptoms are not always just psychological they can be physical too. Below is a list of common symptoms associated with depression.

Symptoms of depression:

  • continuous low mood or sadness (lasting weeks / months etc)
  • feeling of hoplessness and helplessness
  • having a low self-esteem
  • feeling tearful (and often for no reason at all)
  • feeling of guilt
  • irritability and lack of tolerance towards others
  • having no motivation or interest in things that once made you happy
  • difficulty in decision making
  • anxiety
  • suicidal / self harm thoughts
  • physically self-harming
  • slower reaction time
  • irritable bowel syndrome (constipation)
  • aches and pains
  • general lack of energy
  • loss of or lower than previous sex drive
  • changes to your menstrual cycle (including absence)
  • sleep disturbance (difficulty sleeping, waking at infrequent hours etc)
  • poorer performance at work
  • avoiding contact with friends and family
  • neglecting yourself

Depression itself doesn’t happen over night. it comes on over a period of time. symptoms are often difficult to notice. many individuals suffering with depression attempt to control and cope on their own without realising they are unwell. The first step to recovering is admitting to yourself that there is something wrong and seeking professional help / support. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but leaving it can have a serious impact on your life.

If you think you are suffering with depression you should seek assistance from your GP in the first instance. You will not be sectioned for admitting you need help nor will you be locked up an asylum for having suicidal thoughts. This is the stigma around depression and other mental health problems people assume that because you have illness you will be locked away from society. You don’t get shut in a cupboard for a broken leg so why act differently towards a broken mind?

Causes of depression

There isn’t a simple answer to this because depression isn’t a fit all illness. It’s not like a cut from broken glass where you can definitely save you are bleeding and have an open wound because you cut yourself on glass. With mental illnesses there are so many other factors that need to be considered. Family history, health, lifestyle and the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol or smoking.

Family history

Did you know that depression can run in families. You are more prone if your mother suffered depression when you were growing up.

Lifestyle

How you live your life can have an impact on both your physical and mental wellbeing. For example abusing legal and illegal substances, drinking excessive amounts or simply not having a well-balanced diet all have side effects. Some people believe that what we put into our bodies only affects us physically but it’s all connected.

You’re background or current situation could affect you. For example are you constantly reliving events from childhood. Work or a relationship isn’t going to well, unmanageable debt etc.

Illnesses

Depression may be a side effect of another illness for example if you are a lady and suffer with PCOS you are statistically more likely to develop depression.

Treatment

I’ve already touched on this – the first step to recovery is admitting to yourself and seeking help.

Like with symptoms there again isn’t a one solution suits all approach. It all depends on the individual and the severity of the depression. some people find talking to a complete stranger (trained therapists) can help whilst others it makes little or no difference.

Exercise

Physical health is just as important as mental health. What you put into and do with your body affects you on a number of levels. You don’t have to enrol in the London marathon or anything but just get up and about and be active for at least 30 minutes a day. Get off the bus a stop earlier, use the stairs instead of the lift. Buy a fitness DVD and enjoy doing some fitness in the privacy of you own home. You could use this to build up your confidence to join a gym and do some exercises classes like yoga, pilates or even swimming.

Alternative therapies

A kind of think outside the box approach. Think aromatherapy, acupuncture, massage and mediation (basically a trip to the spa). These are not medically proven to get rid of your depression but they help your emotional state which may help overall. Some people may call this a wishy washy approach but don’t knock it until you’ve at least tried it.

Medication

It is true in the past GP’s issued anti-depressants like smarties. They do not do these so much these days as more assistance is being provided. That is because anti-depressants can work (long term) but there are some seriously uncomfortable side effects when you are coming off them.

One of the horrible stigma’s I hate about anti-depressants is people calling them ‘happy pills’ and idiotic quotes like have you taken you happy pills today moody? Seriously how is that helpful and also offensive. You don’t say stuff like that to diabetics or asthmatics.

If you think you or someone you know is suffering with depression please speak to your GP.

 

Katherine xo

I’m happy to be pregnant but why do I feel miserable?

pregnanyI’m sat here feeling like the worse mum-to-be in the entire world. I have waited so many years for the little miracle now growing inside my belly. Up until now I have also had the pleasure of a rather easy pregnancy – no morning sickness just tiredness.

So why is it that with 3 months to go I am simply not as enthusiastic as my hubby, family and friends? At first I started questioning and blaming myself because of my depression but from speaking to lots of other mums-to-be who don’t suffer depression it would appear this is more common than talked about. I can now see some of you now screaming yes, that’s me that’s how I feel. Believe it or not 27% of pregnant mamma’s feel this way (The Bump).

For me I think it all started at week 16, I was partially excited to see bubs on the screen again in the coming weeks but something in the back of my mind was just saying urgh why can’t it be over already.

Work colleagues and family members asking how far along you are questioning whether it’s twins or not. Yes, thank-you I get it I’ve put weight on but for heavens sake I’m growing a little human inside leave me alone!

It’s been 10 weeks since I started to feel this way and it hasn’t eased up. People still question me even though my dearest husband reminds me on a daily basis that I only look pregnant from the front and that I look great regardless. I still feel like it’s unreal. Some days I even question whether I am actually pregnant until I get kicked in the bladder or see a tiny lump under my skin.

I really want to feel that ‘joy’ that ‘glow’ you read about in magazines and baby books but personally I now think this is all utter BS. They clearly only write that rubbish to lure people into a false sense of hope that pregnancy is all floaty and a bed of shimmering gold roses. Ha! what is so glamorous about daily backache, peeing every 20 mins, being unable to get comfy in bed despite the mountains of pillows and the gas. Oh Lordy, the symptoms that no one speaks of 🙈 unbearable trapped wind, constipation and you’ve guessed it liquid brown and burping. Honestly, I feel more cave man than beautiful pregnant lady.

If you feel like me please share your stories in the comments below I would love to hear from you.

 

Katherine xo

PCOS: My story – our IVF journey

Since February 2016 we have been up and down the emotional roller-coaster that is life. We have slowly come to terms with infertility but that still doesn’t mean it hurts any less. I still feel utterly useless as a woman.

Between February and November 2016 we had to attend the hospital for multiple meetings and tests. Most of the meetings were pointless exercises of reviewing the paperwork which was posted to us for completion.  In the June we were given a start date for October but it was literally too short notice especially as they wanted us to attend an appointment 3 days after the letter was issued which was actually a date we were on holiday.

Finally, on Tuesday 25th November we attended what we thought was the start of the process hospital appointment. Unfortunately, for us our consultant was running an hour and a half behind schedule. The weather outside was dreadful so we were left with no option but to sit in the waiting room. Thankfully the TV was on just a shame it was something to do with buying rubbish from other people and trying to sell it for a profit at auction. Ah well I suppose one mans rubbish is another’s treasure…

Anyway after a long stressful wait that seemed like an eternity we finally met our consultant for the IVF. When you’ve had your first IVF clinic appointment you would have left feeling deflated and a bag full of more paperwork. Honestly after an hour a half wait to be told by the consultant you’ve been accepted for IVF was both happy and sad news. After that hour and a half we started inventing snippets of what we thought our meeting would go like. We thought we would leave with some dates to not on the calendar and know exactly what was happening.

So what did our appointment go like I hear you ask. Well we were escorted into the consultants office where we took a seat. We were presented with lots of paperwork and told that we would be asked questions that we have already answered. The responses were typed into the computer. After half an hour of going through the same questions and answers about past medical procedures, periods etc we were told yes you are eligible for IVF. The consultant then went through more paperwork telling us the procedure we would go through (a very short summary) anti-sickness tablets, daily injections, scans, small operation procedures etc. Once again we left the hospital with a bag of paperwork and anxiety. The only difference this time was a prescription for the contraceptive pill.

January 2017, nearly a year after been told I couldn’t have children I was now sat at the IVF clinic upstairs in James Cook University Hospital. I had been taking the contraceptive pill for nearly 2 months (seems a bit weird taking anti-baby meds to have a baby). Apparently this is to help control your natural cycle or in my case control an artificial version of it.

I had seen a lovely nurse and been given quite a lot of information to absorb between now and February including a bag full of bizarre named medication and lots and lots of needles plus a sharps bin. It looks like I am finally starting the IVF journey.

 IVF: the journey so far (weeks one, two and three)

It was Wednesday 22nd February. I had officially been using Menopur for the past 18 nights and Cetrotide for 4 mornings. I was taking 2 powder vials of Menopur to one solution for the first 7 days and then onto 4 powders to one solution.

On Monday 20th I went for a scan to see how things were progressing and the follicles were still quite small. So I was asked to continue the Menopur and have another scan and blood tests on the Wednesday. Well Monday morning driving back from the hospital was a rather emotional affair. For some unknown reason the tears started to roll down my face stinging my eyes. I just felt utterly useless as a woman. I just kept repeating the nurses words over in my head and para-phrasing the bits my downside wanted to hear. What the nurse actually said;  “Looks like we’re a week behind. The follicles are not big enough yet so we need to keep you on the Menopur a bit longer. We will see how it goes on Wednesday and make a decision then” versus what my head heard “you’re useless and your body doesn’t work give up and go home stop wasting everyone’s time”.

I woke up  on the Wednesday feeling a little hopeful and in high spirits. I got to the hospital early for my bloods had a lovely chat with Alison about all things Beagle related. Popped down to the x-ray department for scan number 3, again all went well. Heard the numbers and thought oh these have grown a lot since Monday. 21, 17, 16 then there was a few 14, 12, 10. Feeling a little better than Monday I leapt through the corridor back to reproductive medicine. Sat my ass on the seat in the waiting room waiting to see the nurse. My name was called whoop lets put the game face on. So I sat waiting for the nurse to come back, which she does quite promptly carrying an A4 sheet and my scan. Inside I’m feeling happy as this looks promising. On the sheet of paper it says egg collection Friday. As you can imagine at this point my insides are swimming in a sea of nervous excitement. Even more so when the nurse goes through the next stage and when to stop eating etc.

Then bam she throws in the curve ball that pretty much shites all over my parade. “I’m not sure if we should call this plan A or B. Your follicles are still pretty small, but Mondays bloods were good so we will have to see how your bloods are today”. With that I’m out the hospital and on my way home via Sainsbury’s to get one of those hideous passport ID photos taken for my IVF file. Later that afternoon about 15:30 the mobile rings – the call. Bad news, no procedure on Friday the consultant wants me to continue the Menopur and Cetrotide for another two days.

Friday arrives; blood test number (no idea as I’ve lost count) and scan number (a lot). The nurse was happy with the follicle sizes and number so now the scary and exciting part of the process. The trigger shot! I  left the clinic with yet more medication and paperwork this time I did’t have to inject Menopur and Cetrotide on both days but I did have to inject the trigger shot (HCG) on Saturday evening which was approximately 36 hours before my procedure. Getting real now, only downfall is I wasn’t allowed to eat anything from midnight on Sunday but to be honest I was so nervous about what was to come that I probably wouldn’t have been able to eat anyway.

Egg Collection Day

It is Monday 08:30am, the weekend has been and gone and I am now sat in the IVF clinic with my husband. We were both so nervous about the coming hours. He had to pop off and do his business in a sample jar whilst I went into theatre and have some eggs extracted. I’m not going to lie it hurt like hell even with a double dose of sedative. That stuff is useless; its not pain relief it’s just designed to make you less aware but I was very very aware of everything and every needle.

Afterwards I returned to the cubicle to see an anxious husband waiting for me. I was left with him for an hour (I actually fell asleep during this time). We were then brought a cup of tea and some biscuits and once I had popped to the loo and collected some more medication we were able to go home. It was about 1pm by the time we got out of the hospital. I didn’t go back to work as I had booked the day off as annual leave and so glad I did because I just felt uncomfortably bloated and exhausted.

The day after the egg collection felt like weeks. 09:30 am I got a call from the embryologist 5 out of 13 of our lovely eggs had fertilised. Over the next couple of days I received daily calls to let me know the condition of my little eggs. Thursday’s call was to inform me that we were going to have embryo transfer first thing on the Friday.

Transfer Day

Doesn’t sound as exciting as football transfer day but when you’re at this stage in the IVF process it feels so much more exciting! This time there was no nil by mouth rule as there is no sedative given for this procedure. Hubby was allowed into the theatre with me. We got to see our little bean on the screen before it was artificially inseminated (another really uncomfortable and painful procedure). We once again had a duty cup of tea and biscuits and sent home with yep you guessed it more medication.

The two week wait

OMG what an horrendous and tortuousness period of time. That first week I was soooo uncomfortable, bloated and in pain. It felt like my ovaries were going to burst out of my abdomen at any minute. I tried to pre-occupy myself with work and TV and actually ended up watching the whole box set of call the midwife. Not a programme I would really recommend to anyone wanting a baby but it didn’t really affect me. Towards the end of the first week and beginning of the second week I started to feel really unwell. I developed a chest infection. I was coughing constantly and felt like an 80-odd year old woman when I tried to walk up the stairs.  My test date was for the Friday (17th March) but by Wednesday I felt so ill that I couldn’t resist I just needed to know if it worked or not. If it hadn’t I could take some night nurse or anything just to feel better.

Taking the test

EEEKKKKKKK it says positive! For the first time in over 5 year freaking years i have a pregnancy test in my hand that says positive. Shit! I can’t take any night nurse, or anything other than paracetomol. I was so happy but so sad at the same time. At least I was off work (on the sick) I just literally stayed in bed for the next 5 days. I did take the test again on my official test day and it was still positive so I phoned the parents to tell them the good news that the cycle had worked first time.

7-8 week Viability Scan

The first week of April was the longest week of our lives. I had developed a stomach bug over the previous weekend and beginning of the week (thanks to the husband for bringing home the germs). So far I had not experienced any morning sickness just this nasty bug. Unfortunately, on the Monday I started to bleed. I have never cried so much in my life and had a feeling of utter helpfulness. I rang the early pregnancy unit but because our viability scan was for the Thursday we weren’t offered an appointment any sooner. That three day wait was longer than the whole two week wait put together. 15:00 Thursday James cook ultrasound department we sat waiting desperately hoping our little miracle was still arrive.  We had a student sonographer in the room and I explained that I had had a bleed and we were worried so the fully trained technician did our scan. She popped the probe on my stomach moved it around a few times then exhaled and said oh can’t see much. Our hearts descended to the depths of no return. quickly she looked at us and said there’s something but hard to see could you pop to the loo and we will do an internal scan instead. Quick toilet trip and I’m back on the bed. Probe goes in and within seconds she says with a smile there’s a heartbeat. Joy sprung to my heart I looked over to my husband and he grabbed my hand. The sonographer started talking saying there was measurements and stuff that needed to be taken. By this point I was on cloud 9 she could have spent the next hour taking measurements we had a heartbeat!

Now we are classed as officially pregnant with our first child however, we held onto that news for another 3 weeks until our 12 week scan. We then told the parents again but with a scan photo and then also told our nearest and dearest.

 Katherine xo

Further reading: IVF: The real story about what it’s like to go through IVF